That was a mistake. A small plant looked back at him from the water. He looked like a foolish little sapling, wearing human clothes. A proper sylvari grows their own clothes. The void whirled. It wasn’t even good clothes, all wrinkled and messy from being clumped on the floor. If he was imitating his human heroes, it was a cheap imitation. The sapling was scrawny and weak looking too, with a nose that was too big, pointy – not cute at all. He looked like trash. I’m so gross. The void swirled viciously. And useless. It started to pull. This is why no one… It gave a violent tug and Tora stumbled.
He looked away, blinking back tears and shaking. I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m not gross. He didn’t believe that. He was breathing too fast. Baya doesn’t think you’re gross. That was true. She doesn’t think you’re useless either. His breathing slowed. Baya said he was beautiful. He remembered the way she said it, could still feel where her fingers had lingered as she spoke. Sap pounded in his ears, and he felt his face flush. She was Soundless, as her whole guild was, so he couldn’t feel her at all, and yet somehow, whenever she was around… he felt wanted. The void slowed.
He pressed on, checking his pockets for change as he made his way to the waypoint, swimming through every emotion possible. Resentment, embarrassment, fear… his? Maybe? There was enough fare to get him to the swamp but it’d be a one-way trip. That was fine. Was it fine?! He felt anger, joy, excitement, annoyance… No, those weren’t his. Sorrow, pity, boredom… Not his, not his. Confusion. Probably his?! He couldn’t reach the waypoint fast enough, practically leaping into it on sight.
Then he took it and the sea of feelings washed away, replaced with blissfully nothing but his own feelings to contend with. He felt a rush as he left the waypoint and made his way through the swamp, to Baya’s wooden house they used as headquarters. Tora stopped at the door, poised to knock, his heart pounding.
The void was silent.
I love the way you’ve depicted empathy in this, especially considering all the troubles he’s got going on at home here as well. Hard to figure out how you really feel on something when everyone else’s emotions are hitching a ride!
Thank you!
The empathy thing was quite difficult actually! Haha
Since sylvari have that empathic link, trying to justify how situations like an abusive household could happen was… a lot harder? How do you not realize you have a narcissistic parent if you can feel their feelings as well as everyone else’s to use as comparison? How do you not know what love feels like – a problem that Tora develops here but that he carries well into adulthood? How do no other adults notice there’s a problem?
The solution was to make Tora a special needs sapling who can feel that link far more than he should leaving him confused, which is what we see here. His siblings all have similar circumstances, and their home is fairly isolated from the rest of The Grove. In other words, Ascon has managed to not be found out by surrounding himself with sylvari who can’t figure him out, and limiting his exposure to others who can. Like a narcissist basically.
Haha sorry, I tend to ramble. Thank you for your comment! I’m glad the empathy was communicated well.
Poor Tora. ;w; Little does he know Baya is also garbage.
I love this though. You’re so amazing at story telling!