And then he woke, cold and trembling on the floor of his pod. There was dead silence. Had that been a dream? It felt so real but then… Ascon would never visit the Weeping Isle. He’d never come here. He’d never try. It was fine. He’s not here. He’s not…but Tora checked anyways, taking timid steps to the doorway and cautiously easing the plant to bloom open.
There was no one there.
He let the plant snap its petals shut in a flash, and collapsed to his knees, shaking. For over a year he’d been dreaming of cutting his family off, but he’d never realized how difficult it would actually be when he finally did it. This by far was his worst nightmare to come of it, but it certainly wasn’t his first since he’d done so.
For awhile he’d wavered on it, entertained the thought that once he’d moved out, he could keep a civil relation with Ascon instead. He’d convinced himself that leaving, the very thing Ascon had wanted, would make him easier to talk to. It hadn’t. Instead, every holiday that came, every family birthday, was another tense occasion where Tora couldn’t be sure whether his father would scream and holler at him or not.
There was always something Tora was doing wrong: not visiting enough, not being thoughtful enough with gifts, not being proper by being Soundless, and never mind his current occupation.
It all came to a head on Ascon’s birthday. Tora tried to set up dinner plans for it, tried to be a good sylvari for his father and asked him to tell him what he wanted for dinner. This was the wrong move. Of course it was.
“Why would you make me choose?! Why can’t you choose?! You know I hate being put on the spot!”
He’d tried to apologize. It wasn’t enough.
“I’m just so stressed – we never hear from you, and you won’t tell us about this job of yours! You’re so distant! What do you even want from this relationship?! Do you even care?! Why can’t we talk about things? Is this just a shallow relationship where all we can talk about is the weather?!”
Of course it was -talking about anything deeper was an invitation to harsh judgement and rejection, and Tora made the mistake of telling him as much. In retrospect this was foolish, but a part of him had hoped Ascon would finally listen. He didn’t, and what followed was a storm of rage, guilt tripping, insults, and accusations. Tora fought back and eventually… It was enough. He was done trying, and Ascon didn’t want to speak to him until “You realize how your selfish actions are breaking this family apart.” The cut had finally been made.
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