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Metrica was too bloody close to Caledon. The thief felt it on the warm jungle air clinging to his clothes; saw it in the familiar foliage overhead. Being a completely different territory than his homeland meant very little when they both shared the same damn jungle.

It had been easier to ignore the similarities back in Rata Sum. Caledon didn’t have asura, didn’t have their fascinating technology or pyramid-like structures. He could focus on the foreignness of it all, and remind himself he wasn’t home.

There was no such luxury in the wilderness.

Snarling sylvari weeds lurked in shadows, bonfires crackled with the corpses of people he knew, undead and beasts threatened him from behind trees. His mind spun and his heart raced. He’d already escaped Caledon months ago, but his body wasn’t convinced.

A cheery hum broke his ruminating, and Tora spun to find the source in his peculiar new companion. FPS walked beside him with a boisterous smile, completely oblivious to the ghosts nipping at Tora’s heels.

Tora wasn’t sure whether to be comforted or annoyed. On the one hand, FPS was a great distraction. On the other hand though…

“Why hello there, sexy,” FPS cooed at a nearby tree.

That.

“That’s a tree, FPS.”

“…Is it a boy tree though? Or a girl tree?”

“Who knows? Could be both.” Tora sighed, exasperated.

“I’m not sure what to do with that information.”

“You can keep walking.”

A similar conversation would happen again in another five to ten minutes.

“Hey good looking.”

“That’s a bush, mate.”

“Is it a lady bush though? And would you say it’s hot?”

“I don’t even—”

And again later.

“So there’s no hot ladies out here?”

“No.”

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