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A few more rooms past that, there was a beautiful longbow made of vines and flowers that was unceremoniously dumped into a flower pot.
And then even farther from that, in a different hallway, they found a powerful shield with the Flameseeker Prophecies embedded into it being used as a coffee table in an empty break room.
The prophecies had a coffee stain.
“IS THIS FUCKER JUST THAT LOADED?!” Tora finally snapped. ”Fuck the amulet, let’s just rob em blind!”
A dramatic gasp. “Miss Bandi!”
“Oh don’t give me that, he’s usin’ a legendary shield fer a coffee table! This is fuckin’ stupid!” He gestured at it to emphasize his point. “Ol’boy’s so loaded with magic garbage, he doesn’t even care how it’s used. Is he really gonna miss one or two o’ these?”
“But Miss Bandi, to turn to crime?”
“We’re already robbin’ him!”
“We’re only getting back what’s rightfully yours. What would your long dead sister think?”
“Bolli was a pirate.”
“Oh yeah…”
“So if ya really think on it, I’m just honouring her in my own w—”
A roar of thunder interrupted them from the next room over.
“That didn’t sound good,” FPS said.
Another roar sounded, this time crackling with excess electricity.
The two left the legendary coffee table (Tora with some reluctance) and cautiously edged their way to the door of the neighbouring room. Peering through the door’s window revealed a golem silently working away in a kitchen. It was wearing a frilly apron and was busily preparing a sandwich: delicately assembling bread, lettuce, tomatoes, ham, and cheese into a perfect handheld delight.
Another rumble of thunder sounded, clearly coming from within the kitchen, but the golem didn’t seem to notice or care. It reached for a strange broken knife handle on the counter.
The knife handle shot out a magic blade of flame, and the golem proceeded to use it to toast its masterpiece.
“Oh yer fuckin’ kiddin’ me,” Tora hissed. It was another damn powerful magic object.
“That’s not what’s making the noise, is it?” FPS frowned.
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