Party Crasher

12 comics.
by on February 27, 2021 at 12:00 am
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PART ONE

“Well then, Lady Mina,” his words dripped into her ears like melted chocolate—slow and sweet and… hotter than she was prepared for. “Happy Birthday.”

Lady Mina watched with a start as the young man before her gently took her silk-gloved hand into the dark skin of his and brought it to his lips, gold eyes locking her in his gaze. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears as she stared back at him, examining the sharp angle of his jawline and the shock of black curly hair that draped over his left ear. Even through her glove she could feel the warmth of his lips, and the heat of it rushed up to her cheeks. Yet before she could decide whether to be offended or delighted… he’d given her a wink and a grin and vanished into the crowd of party-goers.

“Who brought him?!” She heard one of her friends whisper in an excited rush behind her.

She didn’t know.

And frankly, it bothered her.

It wasn’t unusual to have party crashers even at the most exclusive events— people always wanted to know what a party with aristocrats was like. Usually she wouldn’t even batt an eye at it. After all, it had happened for all her other birthdays, why wouldn’t it happen at this one? A few curious stragglers here and there were never any real trouble.

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by on February 27, 2021 at 12:03 am
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Not to mention, this was an outdoor party held outside her lovely manor in Divinity’s Reach. It was always harder to keep the riffraff out when it was an outdoor event, so it was practically inevitable that some stranger would get in.

And yet… she recalled his crisp white pinstripe suit and the gold droplet earring dangling from his right ear. It was an eccentric look for sure but not one you could get without good money—he didn’t seem like riffraff. Who was he then?!

“Oh he’s one of those new money types from Lion’s Arch, you know the kind.” She heard someone say.

“I hear he works with the banks there,” said someone else.

“I bet he’s related to pirates!”

He certainly had the manners of one. She’d caught him flirting with Lord Adonis’s fiancé; dancing with both her mother and father; making off-color dirty jokes to a Minister; drinking wine straight from the bottle on three different occasions; dancing and singing on the tables (and getting others to join him?!); and generally just doing whatever he pleased. It was maddening! The man was either oblivious or purposefully defiant towards what was socially acceptable, and Lady Mina highly suspected the latter. He was simply too good at pushing boundaries and stopping just before he truly offended anyone.

…She could still feel his lips on her hand.

“If he bothers you so much, just kick him out!” Her friend, Lady Philline, laughed.

“Oh no, don’t!” Lord Lenard giggled like a school boy. “He’s quite fun! Did you know he’s wrestled a bear once?!”

She’d never seen Lord Lenard giggle like that.

“I’m not kicking him out!” Lady Mina huffed impatiently. “I just want to know who he is and how he got into my party.”

“Oh Minny no! You mustn’t!” Philline squealed mischievously. “He’s certainly charming, I’ll give him that, but he’s so… unconventional. I hear he’s in a motorbike gang!”

“I—!” A mess of fury and embarrassment raged across Mina’s face. “How dare you imply—?!”

“Well it can’t hurt to play with him a little, can it?” Lenard offered and both he and Philline broke into fits of giddy laughter.

“You are both terrible! It’s my birthday and I think I have the right to know who is attending it!” Mina stomped her foot. “He hasn’t even given me a proper name!”

He really hadn’t given anyone a proper name. The strange banker from Lion’s Arch had been going around telling people to call him whatever they fancied.

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by on February 27, 2021 at 12:06 am
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“I’ve been calling him Cleandro personally.” Lenard said.

“Cleandro?!” Philline said with exaggerated shock. “Isn’t that the name of the man you came with?!”

“It keeps things simple! Less names to remember.” Lenard shrugged.

“You’re so bad, Lenard!”

Lady Mina groaned as her two friends burst into laughter all over again. She’d never seen them act so… so preposterous! Did this man just make everyone loony?!

“Oh Minny, lighten up! He probably just came in with Lord Faren or something. You know how peculiar his tastes in company can be.”

“Lord Faren isn’t even here. He’s off playing in his airship or some such nonsense.” Mina scoffed.

“Didn’t he come in with that young scientist? That Professor Arissi or something?”

Professor Arina, a young scientist from Lion’s Arch whom Mina had only heard of quite recently. Apparently she was a bright talent with a promising career ahead of her in developing tonics. She didn’t really know the details or care. Her invitation was one of many made by Mina’s personal assistant in order to make her party look good. It didn’t really matter who she was personally so much as whether she could brag about her attendance to those who mattered later. She supposed that was as good a lead as any though and made off to find her.

This wasn’t difficult.

As it turned out, Professor Arina had something of an appetite, and Lady Mina found her generously sampling everything from the buffet tables. She was surprisingly short with a childish face and figure—not quite what she’d expected for a scientist. She was rather cute, with her tan skin covered in freckles and her big eyes glittering behind a pair of round spectacles. She wasn’t dressed like a scientist either. Had Mina not had

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by on February 27, 2021 at 12:09 am
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someone point her out, she would have missed her completely.

Now that she was looking closely at her though… It wasn’t as if she was poorly dressed for the occasion—quite the opposite in fact! Her dreadlocks were up in a fancy twist and she had the loveliest sequinned dress on but… Mina squinted at the dirt around Arina’s knees.

“Professor Arina, did you… trip?”

“Oh what?” Arina gulped down a finger sandwich and laughed. “Oh yeah don’t worry about it! I’ve been tripping a lot but I just haven’t been this tall for very long, y’know? It takes awhile to adjust.” She laughed again.

“You haven’t… been this tall for very long?”

“Um uh yes, tall as in, I mean, because of the um… the high heels! Y-You know?!”

“Ah yes. I take it you don’t usually wear those as a scientist.”

“E-Exactly,” Arina scarfed down another sandwich. “My ears! These are really good, have you had them?!”

“I live here…”

“Oh yeah obviously!” Arina laughed again. “So how might I assist you, Miss Mina?”

Miss Mina? She decided to let that slide. “It’s been brought to my attention that you arrived with a certain guest to my party.”

“O-Oh?” The professor gulped audibly. “Has he um… bothered you, or…?”

“Nothing like that, relax. I simply wish to know who he is.”

“Oh!” Arina laughed. “Oh uh sure! He’s um, a friend from Lion’s Arch. We work together.”

“You work together?” Mina frowned. “Isn’t he a banker?”

“OH YEAH ABSOLUTELY! OF COURSE! HAHA!” The professor laughed even louder. She sure laughs a lot. “He’s totally a banker, yep. Very much that. He just um helps me… sometimes?” There was a nervous energy to her voice.

“As a scientist.”

“Yeah.”

“A banker helping a scientist.”

“Y-Yep.”

There was silence as the two stared at each other.

Then Lady Mina opened her mouth to speak and—

“You-know-if-you’re-so-curious,” Arina piped up over her, speaking at breakneck speed. “You could ask him about the details yourself!”

And before Mina could object, the frenzied scientist hastily shoved her towards the fountain near the center of the garden. There was her enigma, having some silly water

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by on February 27, 2021 at 12:12 am
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fight in the fountain with some of her other guests. Mina turned back to Arina but found she was already several feet away from her, hurriedly trying to disappear into the crowd and tripping several times as she did so.

Lady Mina sighed and looked back at her real target: he was positively soaked and grinning like a madman. What obnoxious behaviour! And yet the way the moonlight shimmered off his wet skin made him glisten like a precious jewel. She watched a single glittering bead of water slowly roll down his cheek, slip over his jaw, trickle gently down his neck and…

Her face burned, and she gasped in shock having caught herself staring. This is ridiculous, he’s just some wacky banker! Even so, her feet felt like lead as she approached him.

“I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t make a mess of my garden.” She tried to say it sternly, but she could still feel heat in her cheeks.

The man, who’d been laughing and splashing another guest, stopped to greet her with a smile.

“Ah! Lady Mina,” he said her name with such weight she thought she’d collapse under it. “Sorry birthday girl, my bad!”

He climbed out of the fountain and stood dripping before her with that same crooked smile he’d left her with earlier. Up close he was actually shorter than her, which honestly should have made him less intimidating but really didn’t.

Not that she was intimidated of course, he just… had very intense eyes.

“You know how it is, one minute you’re dancing on dry land and the next….” He chuckled and motioned to his draping wet clothes.

“Y-Yes, well, never mind that.” Mina coughed. “You’ve yet to give me your name you know.”

“Oh? Did I not?” There was a gleam in his eye that made it damn clear he knew he hadn’t. “Hm. Well then, call me ‘gorgeous.’”

“Gorgeous?!”

“Oh STOP!” He said playfully before leaning in just a little too close. “…But do go on.”

She found herself panicking, staring back into those hooded yellow eyes of his and drowning. “I—! Y-You—! That—!”

And just as quickly he moved back. “No good? How bout ‘sexy’ then?”

“Th-That’s—!”

“Oooh! Or ‘sugar’! I’ve always wanted to be called ‘sugar’ at least once!”

“Wha—?!”

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by on February 27, 2021 at 12:15 am
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CLICK HERE FOR PAGE 1 OF PARTY CRASHER

“‘Good-looking’? ‘Darling’? ‘Jeff’? How about—”

“DON’T TOY WITH ME!” Lady Mina could feel her whole body shaking. Her face must have been as red as a tomato. She’d never felt so humiliated!

The smile dropped from the man’s face then.

“Alright,” he said, his voice suddenly somber. “I get it. I’m sorry, I’m just messing around. Please don’t cry.”

“I-I’m not—!” But she was. There were tears streaming down her face. She hadn’t realized.

“Ahh… I just didn’t think it was important, you know? I was happy just to be some silly story for you all to tell in the morning. It’s not like I’ll see any of you again, right?”

“Huh?!” That surprised her. “Why wouldn’t I see you again?”

“Oh come now, I’m just someone’s plus one, ain’t I? That’s a straight-up fluke, isn’t it? Who’s going to invite some banker from Lion’s Arch to a ritzy scene like this again?”

I would, but she stopped herself from saying it, and felt mortified that she’d even thought it.

“Anyway, you want my name, right? It’s Trip Leonardis.”

“Trip Leonardis.” She said it softly, considering the sound of it. It wasn’t a bad name. “Thank you, Leonardis.”

He gave her a gentle smile, and she paused, scrutinizing his face. Maybe he wasn’t that bad? A bit rude certainly but…

“You know, you’ve danced with nearly everyone here, haven’t you?” She huffed.

“Have I?” He chuckled.

“But you haven’t danced with me. It is my birthday, you know. That’s quite rude of you.”

“I suppose it is, eh?” That maddening grin of his crept back across his face as he offered her his hand. “May I?”

She took it and he pulled her close, content to dance exactly where they stood. He was still damp from the fountain, but surprisingly warm. As they swayed about the garden, she noticed his scent—like sea breeze and something flowery she couldn’t place.

“By the way,” He spoke casually, in a low voice just loud enough for only her to hear. “The name’s Trip but…”

He twirled her around and gave her a wink.

“Friends call me Bandi.”

*

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by on March 6, 2021 at 12:00 am
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PART TWO

Ariscille, er… “Professor Arina” scurried back to the buffet tables when it looked safe to. She bumped into a few things along the way: chairs, tables, garden decor, people… Being a human was taking longer to adjust to then she originally estimated. They were so tall! At least she’d stopped tripping as much, but she wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to their long limbs.

She wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to their rich human food either, and as she finally reached the buffet again, her heart sang in anticipation. This crazy party crashing idea of Tora’s had been worth it for the food alone. The people and conversation? Boring! SO dull! But the food? The tiny sandwiches with cream fillings, the roast duck with gravy, the miniature cheesecakes with fancy syrups…  this was the best idea!

He’d shown up at her lab with it out of the blue like he usually did.

“What if we made a human tonic and snuck into those fancy human noble parties with it?!”

The sheer absurdity of it was really what sold her on it. Oh that Tora always has such fun ideas! Jekk would kill them if he found out, but he didn’t need to know…

The tonics were working great too—it was the longest lasting batch she’d made so far at two whole hours! It was damn fine work, but probably most definitely illegal. Tonics had time limits for reasons, it spelled all kinds of legal issues if someone could

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by on March 6, 2021 at 12:03 am
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use what was meant to be a toy as some sort of legitimate disguise.

At present though, she was far more concerned over blowing their cover than being caught with an illegal tonic. And she’d almost done so more than a few times that evening.

Tora was the one who’d setup their cover stories and got them in. She wasn’t even fully sure how he did it but he’d somehow gotten her an invitation as a “human” scientist! Thankfully the backstory he’d concocted for her wasn’t too far from the truth so it wasn’t hard to stay on script. The real issue was Tora’s story…

He’d changed it about six times before they’d even entered the party, even editing little flourishes here and there right up until they reached the entranceway. In one version he was a fallen noble from a distant land, in another he was a fellow scientist with a tragic past… She wasn’t even sure what name he’d finally settled on—it was hard to keep up with it all. Every time someone came to ask her about him, and way too many people did, she simply found herself nodding and agreeing with whatever they said while trying not to contradict whatever story Tora had given them.

They’d separated from each other pretty early in the party since Ariscille was more interested in the food and Tora was more interested in… doing whatever he was doing. She tried to clarify his backstory details the first time they regrouped at the buffet to no avail.

“Eh, just tell em whatever. Ya think they care?” Tora snickered as he popped a few bite-sized pastries in his mouth.

“Oh golly, Tora—” She started before he slapped his hand over her mouth.

“Don’t tell em that one though, eh?” He smiled. His hand smelled like ocean air and flowers (he sure smelled… cleaner lately).

This was ten minutes into the party.

She tried again when he visited later to offer her wine he’d stolen from the kitchen. Then again when he went to introduce her to some people he met. And finally once more when he got her to dance with him on the tables.

“There’s been quite a lot of interest in you, you know?! I’m just having a bit of trouble—Oh sorry! Sorry!” She’d stepped on someone’s foot again. There was a lot of people dancing on these tables and she still hadn’t figured out how to walk in this body, never mind dance!

“You and me both!” Tora laughed as he spun her around. She could still smell the ocean off him, but her sharp asuran nose picked up several other smells: a mix of perfumes, as if he’d gotten a little too close with a little too many nobles. She suspected he’d done exactly that. As she spun, her foot knocked over something made

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by on March 6, 2021 at 12:06 am
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of glass and she heard it shatter on the ground.

“Look I get it haha I do! But uh, here’s the thing?” He gave her a quick twirl and she swore she heard something clink in his pockets—or had they knocked off another glass? “I’ve said so much shit to so many people! Mostly I’m jus’ some guy from LA, but from there? All bets are off! I got some folks thinkin’ I’ve got a lost love, some others thinkin’ I wrestled a bear… I’m in a motorbike gang (actually that part’s true)… Oh and at least one guy thinks I’m part Djinn!”

“Part Djinn?!”

“Yeah!” He snorted. “I have no fuckin’ idea how I got away with that. Hilarious!”

It was hilarious and Ariscille couldn’t help grinning.

“That… is actually fantastic! But what do I say then?”

“Whatever you want! Look here’s my point, I’ve made up so many stories tonight and there’s so many people calling me so many different names…” He suddenly dipped her then and leaned in close, his eyes sparking with the energy of a lightning bolt. His manic grin widened and he whispered in her ear in a rush. “I don’t even know who I am anymore!”

And with that he danced away from her, cackling into the arms of another dancer, and making it more than clear that she was on her own. She’d have to be very careful talking about him.

If only the birthday girl wasn’t so sharp. Oh gosh, oh golly! Ariscille really nearly blew their whole cover with Miss Mina! She stuffed a few breaded shrimp in her mouth and scanned the garden. The last she saw Miss Mina she was at the fountain dancing with Tora. She’d watched him sweep her away into the crowd and hadn’t seen either of them since.

Hopefully he’d managed to keep Miss Mina off their scent, but she wouldn’t know for sure until she talked to him next. It was probably fine though. For now she may as well continue indulging in appetizers.

Just as she reached for another shrimp though, she heard someone call for her.

“PROFESSOR?! PROFESSOR!”

She spun around to see Tora walking briskly towards her.

“THERE YOU ARE! WE NEED TO GO.” He brushed past her and nabbed a couple hors d’oeuvres. “We need to go go go!”

“Right now?!” Ariscille blinked. “Wait, did Miss Mina—?!”

“Oh no, she fuckin’ loves me.” Tora shoved a few finger sandwiches into his pockets and another in his mouth. He talked as he munched. “Mmm what is in these? So damn good. Anyway, it’s her suitors that hate me.”

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by on March 6, 2021 at 12:09 am
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“Suitors?” She took the cue from Tora, and followed suit: stuffing food into her mouth and purse. She had a feeling this would be her last chance for that.

“Yeah, I’ve got like seven or eight duels I don’t plan on doing. That Mina is well-liked!” He ate a couple mini cheesecakes and continued moving rapidly down the buffet. “There’s also a guy who’s mad at me because I’m Cleandro? Or he’s Cleandro? I’m unclear. Anyway, people want me dead is the point.”

“Oh dear.” Ariscille grabbed a silver tray of devilled eggs and poured it into her purse as she followed Tora. A fellow guest at the buffet watched them dumbfounded, holding his glass of champagne numbly in front of him. Tora grabbed the glass as he passed, drained it in a gulp, and handed it back before the man could even blink.

Voices from the crowd bellowed behind them.

“LORD AMBROCIO! YOU WILL DUEL ME!”

“COME BACK, YOU FIEND! SIR XANDER!”

“WHERE HAVE YOU GONE, EREL?!”

“Right. Think  thas’ as much as we’re gettin’.” Tora said as he shoved a few more cured meats into his jacket.

“Well at least we didn’t set anything on fire this time.” Ariscille shrugged as she grabbed a handful of olives.

“BY THE GODS! WHO SET THE HEDGES ON FIRE?!” A voice cried in the distance.

Tora and Ariscille paused in the midst of their looting and exchanged looks.

“Does it count if I don’t remember how that happened?” Tora tried.

“Let’s just say no,” Ariscille said decisively.

The two nodded in agreement; Ariscille grabbed one more tray of food; Tora snatched a bottle of champagne; and the two scampered off giggling like teenagers, accidentally knocking over a garden statue of some old man as they went.

*

Tora stood in the dim light of his shoddily made thief den: a single mattress for a bed surrounded by junk, hidden in the depths of some ruins just outside a human village. Shrouded on all sides by crumbling stone with only the moonlight to guide him, he deftly shuffled through the mess towards his bed and started emptying his pockets onto it.

Clink. Clink. Clink.

A variety of small colorful glass bottles dropped one after the other onto the bed into a small pile. He reached over and spread them out so he could see them better.

Perfume bottles. Lots of them.

He pulled one last bottle from his pocket: a seashell shaped cologne he’d swiped

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